The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
We were destined to go to rehab together
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
