i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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