Dual....:-)
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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