My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize
