butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
