What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Randomize
