Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
