Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
