I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
