i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
