Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Randomize
