Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
