Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
You're like the curious george of whores
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Randomize
