We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
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