I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Randomize
