Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
