So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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