i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Randomize