well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
