so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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