I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
