The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
