I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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