Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
