im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
