Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
