Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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