we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
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