I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Randomize
