i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
