dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
love makes seman taste better
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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