You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
