I wish I could punch you in the face.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
