Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
