i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Randomize
