I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Randomize
