I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
