are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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