New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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