I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
