dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Randomize
