If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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