he told me I talked like a deaf person
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
