Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Randomize
