Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
sick fucks of a feather flock together
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
