We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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