I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
