i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Randomize
