I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
