just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
