bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
