Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
