Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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