New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
